Changing the Situation
This is written for all those out there who are living with a narcissist or narcissistic personality and for whatever reason or circumstances in their lives are unable to walk away from this person. For instance, an adult might be able to walk away from a narcissistic partner, once they stop making excuses for them, but a child or teenage may not be in a position to walk away from a narcissistic parent. So the only thing to do in a situation where removing yourself from the person is not an option, is to change the way you look at and feel about the person who is causing you so much angst.
This requires trust and faith and some out of the box thinking, but following are a few tips for managing that difficult person in your life. For those of you who believe in and understand the law of attraction then this concept will come naturally. For others, please remain open minded.
Each person in our lives, is to a degree, a mirror representation of ourselves. If you want to be valued, then you must not only set boundaries as to the type of behavior you will and won’t accept, but you must also love and value yourself first and foremost. You will then find that reflected back to you in kind. When it is impossible to walk away, try the following:
See this person as who you want them to be, not as how they are currently being. The brain does not know the difference between a reality we are looking at and a vision we are thinking or creating in our minds. Even the worst narcissist in the world has a good side and some nice traits. Spend time thinking about those things.
What we focus on, we expand. When the person is acting up, remove yourself from their presence if you can, even if it is simply into the next room. Take some time to sit quietly and focus on how you would like them to be. Focus on the time they said or did something nice, or a quality you might admire about them and think only of that. Instead of thinking about the cruel thing they just said or did, think about the nice thing they also did at one point. Think only of that and feel how good it felt when they did whatever it was that was good. Don’t let your mind stray back to the bad thing, think only of the good thing. You will find that this has the surprising effect of bringing more of that good energy around them and can diffuse their negative aspects.
It requires a lot of faith and self belief when they have been unkind, but if you can think of the positive, then you will bring more of that energy into and around the situation.
Send them love.
The more love you can send those who harm you, the more you can dissolve the energy that causes the harm. You don’t have to force it. Just send them the same love you would like them to give you and trust that sending this love is dissolving anything negative. See the love as a beautiful, healing pink energy that is dissolving all unhappiness in them and in you, and gently allow it to work its magic.
Treat this as an experiment that you are going to try for a week or two to see what happens. Focus on their good qualities over and over again and see if you can bring more of those situations into your life where they become nicer. Make your vision so clear that it has no choice but to manifest.