A narcissist is a clever actor and chameleon. He is a master at creating a charming and charismatic façade that he projects to the world. Once he has set his sights on you, he will go out of his way to make sure he portrays himself as the most wonderful man you have ever met. Unfortunately this is merely an act. It's a game to him and he simply wants to conquer and control, to win you. Once he has done so he will start to lose interest. This is a pattern that presents in every narcissistic relationship.
Often by the time women work out that they are in a toxic relationship, they are in a great deal of pain and have lost months, or even years of their lives.
So how do you know whether you are getting involved with a narcissist? First of all, trust your gut. Whenever we first meet someone who is not good for our health or happiness, our intuition tells us. There are always red flags or warning signs in the early days that we often ignore to our own detriment, because we don't want to accept that this man might not be everything he seems to be. Here are a few that may show up within the first few months of meeting a narcissist:
1. Does he seem too good to be true? 2. Does he go all out in the romance stakes when you first meet? 3. Has he told you he's never met anyone like you before? 4. Is he hinting at a future together very quickly after having met each other?
5. Does he talk about himself a lot? 6. Does he sometimes act impatiently or rudely, as if he is better than everyone else? 7. Does he talk about his past relationships, or one ex in particular? 8. Does he look at, or flirt with other women? 9. Do his moods run hot and cold? 10. Does he speak badly of other people or treat people unkindly? 11. Has he lost his cool and become angry and impatient over something trivial? Have you seen a different side of him to the sweet, seemingly sincere guy you met at the beginning?
Chances are you might be involved with a narcissist. Our intuition always protects us and it is vital that you listen to your gut feelings in the very early stages of dating anybody new. If something doesn’t seem right, if he is not respecting you, or others, or if you have any doubt whatsoever, then don’t brush these feelings aside - pause for serious consideration as to whether you want to continue with this man. If he really is a narcissist, then things are only going to get worse once he is sure he has won you over. Don’t take everything he says at face value, proceed slowly and take your time to get to know him.
Listening to any warning signs or gut feelings in the very beginning of the relationship could save you a lot of heartache in the long term.